Losses and How Do We Handle Them?

We all go through losses.  Most people go through more than their share of them.  The sad part is we do not know how to express our feelings when it comes to losses.  We do not even know how to share our losses with others.  We feel as if we have to keep them bottled up so as not to seem distressed or depressed.  At other times we break-down and get angry and upset. 

Losses come in many different ways.  Some of the losses are sudden and life changing.  Other losses affect us for a while but we eventually accept the change that it has made in our life.  Then there are those losses we cannot describe.  We wonder in those times if we have a right to be sad.  We wonder if we should feel the strong emotional connections that we have. 

I am here to tell you that you own your emotions.  Do not be worried about what others think.  If you are sad because of a loss don’t keep it bottled up and hold it inside talk to others.  If you are mad because of a loss take the time to talk to someone.  Most importantly do not believe that you do not have the right to be emotional due to a loss.

If you have read my devotions you will know that I lost my little sister when I was a year old.  She lived four days.  I never got to see her alive.  The only pictures that exist with me and my little sis are at her funeral. 

Many people do not understand how a loss at this young of an age can affect a child.  They believe that little ones do not understand death.  We do not have to worry about them because they will overcome it.  Yet, I am here to tell you I might not have known at 1 years old that I was at my sister’s funeral.  But the time came that I knew that a part of my life wasn’t there with me.

My mom and dad talked about my sister.  Then I found out later there were two embryos and one that didn’t live to be born.  I know this is crazy and most people will never be able to understand it, but my stage name came from that unnamed baby.  See mom already had a name picked out for her first born son Michael Raye.  When my younger brother was born he wasn’t named Michael Raye instead he was named after my dad.  I really think my Mom knew that the lost baby that she was never able to name was her first born son.  So I didn’t just lose one sibling I lost two.  One that lived for 4 days in this beautiful world and one that didn’t make it into the world.

So how did these losses that happened before “I understood” affect me?  My sister’s death changed the whole existence of my life.  I always thought that I had to do things twice as hard.  I always felt like that I had to do the best I could for not only me but also for her.  I have always felt like I had to make my life worth the living. 

There has always been a part of me that felt like what would have happened if it wasn’t Kristie but rather me that had passed.  Would she have been able to do things I never could?  Would she be the beautiful person that I always wanted to be?  Would she have done things that were so much better than what I have accomplished?  Then there is a thought that runs through my head.  If I had died she would be dealing with my loss the same way that I have been dealing with her loss all these years and that wouldn’t be fair to her.

I know as a Christian that I have one fact to be sure of.  When I get to Heaven I will finally be able to play and sing praises to God with my little sis.  She will not be sick like she was here.  I will be able to spend eternity with the one that I have missed my whole life.  Hopefully, she will be proud of her big sis.  I have done my best to be the best person that I could be for both of us.

Yet, this is not the last loss that I have had in my life.  I think about other members of my family that have passed that made me the person who I am.  They taught me about Jesus through their walk of faith.  I miss them tremendously yet I have comfort in knowing that they are with their beloved Savior.  They are not struggling instead they are happy and in a much better place.

In the beginning, I had a hard time with all of their deaths.  Yet, things became different.  For example when my grandfather got sick I realized it was time to come off of the road.  I had been traveling for about ten years at that time.  I wanted to be closer so I quit my job and came back home to Kentucky.  I was able to spend time with him before he was no longer the man that I knew.  Yet, in the end I knew that he went home to God whom he loved and was reunited with all of his loved ones.  In fact, I know that he is having a great time being able to be the grandfather that he couldn’t be to my sister.  She gets a few years of spoiling before I and my other cousins go home.

Cancer is a cruel disease.  I also decided that I had to do something to honor his life.  He would have been proud of me each year as I collect money to pay for research to find cures for childhood cancer.  I know that is something that pays tribute to a man that changed my life.  He was special to me and because of that I feel honored every year to go bald.  It gives me a few seconds to pay tribute and to show the world that even though cancer is cruel we can beat it.  One day I know this dream will come true.

There are other losses that we can’t explain to others.  One of the hardest things to deal with is when a loved one or a friend takes their own life.  We have a whole flood of questions that come into our mind.  How are we supposed to endure the pain of knowing that we couldn’t stop them from ending their life?  How are we supposed to endure knowing that they couldn’t feel like we could help them?  How are we supposed to continue life with them being gone?  Most importantly do they understand what shape they are leaving us behind in?

I want to tell you right now.  If you are dealing with this type of loss there is one thing that you need to know:  YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT.  Many times people that are contemplating suicide bottle up those emotions because they think they are alone even when it is far from the truth.  They never wanted to hurt anyone that is the reason that they keep it to themselves.  The thought process is clouded by a hurt that no one can understand.  Many would never had taken that last step if they had known how many people they would leave behind that are mourning their loss.

You have to remember that suicide is an act that one person takes.  It isn’t something that you have caused or didn’t stop from happening.  I have someone very close in my life that lost her sister to suicide.  She has days that she wished it had been her instead of her beloved twin.  It has been twenty years since this happened and she still deals with the feelings of guilt and loss.  I tell her all the time that if her sister knew how much hurt this would have caused her and the rest of the family she would have never had done it.  Yet, the ugly head of pain and loss surfaces every time there is something that she wishes she could call and share with her best friend. 

Yet, these are not the only things that we can lose in life.  There are many like myself that have lost jobs, independence and health.  We go through these things and wonder what we have done so wrong in our life.  We have good paying jobs that we have dedicated our life to but one day it’s gone.  We are able to do things independently and out of the blue we become dependent on others.  We have relatively good health and then one day the ugly head of sickness attacks us and everything changes. 

Sadly, one of these events can actually trigger the others.  I was a pretty healthy person other than being overweight.  Then my life changed in a flash.  I started getting dizzy and losing my balance.   I started throwing up solid foods hours after eating. I started having pain that was out of control.  With all of this I actually lost my independence to get around on my own.  Then top it off I got so sick that I could no longer work. 

I could have easily thrown my arms up and given up.  I had enough reason to.  I started feeling like I was a burden.  Things even got worse when I almost lost my house because of losing my income. 

Yet, it was during this time that I really learned how to deal with losses.  This is where the Christian Prospective comes into play.  Be forewarned this lesson is easy to say and listen to, but hard to live.  There are things that you have to accept that takes things out of your control.  Miraculously this applies to all kinds of losses.  If you follow it you will come to see that you have help all the time if you call on it.

·       God has plans for your life.

·       God is there to help you through the hard times of your life.

·       Miracles will happen in your life if you will let God help you.

·       Life doesn’t end when you lose the things you cherish.

·       You can make a difference in one person’s life, YOUR LIFE.

·       You can still be used by God no matter what you are going through.

·       Your life is important to God and Others.

·       God is Bigger than any problem you will ever go through.

·       God is there if all else fails. 

·       God Never Abandons You.

·       Nothing you do will separate you from the Love of God.

·       God will send the people that you need in your life.

·       Take comfort in knowing that God sent Jesus to take away all your Sins.

·       You can make it as long as you Let God take the Lead.

·       GOD LOVES YOU!

If you can keep these things in your mind as you face losses you will see that you have internal peace.  If you haven’t asked God in your life today is a good day.  God doesn’t care who you are.  God doesn’t care what you have done in your life.  God doesn’t care about what others say.  GOD’S LOVE IS ETERNAL.  Remember these things and you will be able to deal with losses when they happen.

Uniting All Believers

A series of gunshots end a peaceful prayer study.  A stranger to the group that was welcomed with open arms pulls the gun that will kill 9 Christians.  The community struggles to understand how this could have happened.  The country recognizes that there has to be changes made.  Government officials do their best to change the way things are.

Yet, I propose that this is a time for all Christens to unite.  This is not the story of one man that took action against a group of people who were opening their lives for others to see God.  This story is about the division that has happened in the “church.”  It is quite ironic how many people call themselves Christian yet alienate others.

The Christian community must become united.  We have to realize that we have influential power.  We have to understand that we may have not pulled the gun.  Yet, we as a community have created individuals that believe that must hurt others. 

I had a friend say that this event would not make the impact that it has if it had happened in another environment.  Because it happened at a church, a place of safety and peace, people around the world have become angry.  It gave us all a common experience.  This weekend was a rough one for many churches.  They had to become vigilant about those that entered their church for the first time.  Yet, we have to ask ourselves if this is the right response to take.

I have heard several pastors in the last few weeks talk hate from their pulpit.  Announcing that gays have to be killed because what they are doing to our community.  Yet, so many of their fears are not based on reality instead it’s based on their own belief that they are self-righteous.  Instead their fears are based on misconceptions. 

I have gone to several different churches and it surprises me how the racial lines are drawn.  People tend to worship with people of their own race.  Yet, the best churches that I have been to are the ones where race, economic status, physical ability, sexual identity or gender identity.  At these churches no one stands out.  They are able to unite their voices and hearts to serve the Most High.

We need to look at these churches and understand that we must unite.  We must take away the barriers that separate our churches.  We must open our doors to those we have marginalized.  We have to stop teaching hate and begin teaching the love of God to all.

We had our pride festival in my hometown this week and the protestors were there.  The sad part is that they were spreading hate because they believed that GLBTIQ individuals were living in sin.  The sad part is that one of the men was put our local paper.  He wasn’t there to support us instead he was there to demean us.  He talked about the love of God but then condemned because we in his opinion were living in sin. 

How many people has he influenced?  He was turning people away from the love of God that needed to hear God loved them.  Yet, at the same time how many of his church members have he taught to hate GLBTIQ.  How many people do we have to see die in the name of religion before we do something.

We as Christians are called to show the love of God to all.  We are not taught to turn people away from God.  How many people have to feel isolated from the God of peace before we do something?

How many churches have to face violence before we stand up and say enough is enough?  Is it time that we link our arms together and say that God loves all people.  Is it time to make those accountable for hurting people in the name of religion?  God is not about hate.  Is it time to break down the walls that we have built and unite to show peace to the world.

This blog is not just for Christians this is for all religious individuals.  There has to be an end to the hate that is taught in our churches.  We have to force those that believe God hates people to leave the pulpit.  We can only accomplish this if we as religious individuals unite and show love.  Those that love God realize that God is about love not hate.  Why are we so willing to allow hate to be taught for our pulpits.

This is not what religion is about.  When do our church leaders stand up and say that this is not what they believe.  When do we as religious individuals stand up and say that we love all people but God has created us.  It is amazing that in this time when we should stand unite that there are still people that are spreading hateful messages.

We have to become united.  Today is the day.  Show the love of God to all you come in contact with.  Do not allow those that are spreading hate be the only voices that people hear.  We need to become the new voice of religion.  We need to become the ones that show that we are all the same.  We all have faults yet, God loves us.  That alone should be enough of a reason to stand up and say that the real religious front is about compassion and love.

What does Marriage have to do with Love?

What does Marriage have to do with Love?  Many people think that marriage is the most important thing that we can do to show that we truly love someone.  It is a public display of devotion and love.  It is that one moment when we share the spotlight with our partner to say we are in this for life. 

The more important question is what is Love?  When you figure out what love is you truly understand the need people feel for marriage.  Love is the strongest emotion and most important emotion you can have.  Love is the blending of two hearts into one.  Love is the moment that you realize that you are not the most important person in your life.  Love is the giving of yourself to someone else because you desire to be with them no matter is going on.

Everyone longs to have someone that will love them.  We long for someone who will laugh with us.  We long for someone that will cry with us.  We long for someone that will dance with us.  We long to have someone that will hold us. 

There are so many that cannot out of fear express their love.  They are afraid that people will judge them or discriminate against them.  They are afraid that they will lose friends.  They are afraid that their family will abandon them.  They live two lives.  They live a life of open love within a closed relationship.  They live a life of loneliness in all other relationships.  Their lives are not complete because they cannot show people how happy and content they are.

People need to see that love is more than the gender of the two in love.  People need to see that love is more than the race of the two in love.  People need to see that love is more than the religion of the two in love.  People need to see that love has no boundaries.  People need to see that love is the deepest commitment that two people share.

We force people to live in a mold that we have created for them.  We do not want people to do things outside our way of thinking.  We do not want people to be different than we are.  We fear that if we acknowledge that people are different we have to face our differences.

Yet, this is what we have to understand.  Everyone is different.  No two people in this world are identical.  Even identical twins that share the same genes are not exactly alike.  One may be outspoken while the other is timid.  One may be a leader while the other one is a follower.  They may live different lives all together.  They are the closest example that we have that no one can be just like us.  If identical twins cannot be the same, how do we expect others to be the same as we are?

Jesus gives us all free unconditional love.  Jesus is there with us as we go through life’s ups and downs.  Even with this in mind, we want that person that can love us unconditionally.  Many are lucky that they have parents, children and friends that love them.  Yet, the love that we desire is that one person that we can share our life with.  They see our life from our perspective because they are there with us as we are going through it.

A true love is one that is not affected by time and space.  True love will last through heartbreak.  True love will last through deep sorrow.  True love is not affected by finances.  True love will last even if one departs the Earth.  True love is the one thing that we will always carry with us.  We will learn that we thought we were in love yet, when you find your true love all the rest seems foolish.  We learn that all our past relationships, whether it is family, friends or partners, were only a tool to prepare us for the Love of our Life. 

Love is the beginning of the sentence in our life.  Love moves us in the direction that connects our past and present with our future.  Love is the noun that describes our life.  Love is the verb that expresses our emotions.  Love is the only word that we need to have a full and satisfying life.

Back to the question at hand, what does marriage have to do with love?  Marriage is the exclamation mark at the end of our sentence.  Marriage shares with the world that we have found the other part of our soul.  Marriage is an outward expression of a deep love that will not be broken by the world’s struggle.

Why do people desire to be married?  The answer is simple they desire to be married to express their dedication to someone for the rest of life.  Marriage is much like baptism.  Baptism is the outer expression of our commitment to Jesus.  It shows the rest of the world that we have made a commitment to one person.  It shows that we are into this relationship for the long haul.  Love began the journey and marriage is the exclamation that shows the world our seriousness and devotion.

Why are we so afraid to let people marry?  Are we afraid that they may change the meaning of marriage for us?  Are we afraid that they are pushing their lifestyle on them?  Are we afraid that they may be mocking our committed relationship?  Why can we not just accept that people who desire to marry only want what we have?

Yesterday was a monumental day in the life of many same sex couples.  The Supreme Court heard the case to allow same sex marriage to become the standard not the exception.  We saw people that years ago would have been against us stand up and say this is the right thing to do.  We moved one step closer to the equality that so many deserve.

Yet, we are not done.  There is so many people throughout this world that face discrimination because who they love.  There are people that go to their death because they would not deny their love.  We will not be finished until all are treated the same throughout the world.

What do us as Christians need to do?  We need to accept that we are the example of a loved people.  Jesus loved us with all of our flaws and imperfections.  Jesus loves us just the way we are.  We as Christians need to give the same respect to all creation.  We need to accept that we have to allow people to freely express their love.  We may not want the same thing in our own life yet, we cannot deny love for others.

We have to pray for the right decision to be made.  It would be the strongest affirmation of love if the entire Supreme Court voted in favor of same sex marriage.  We as Christians have to pray for this outcome.  You do not need to change your life to accept that there are people that love others just like we love our significant other.

We have to pray that others in the world can be treated with same dignity.  We have to pray that governments throughout the world accept that love is not wrong.  We have to pray that no more lives have to be lost because of love.  Jesus died for all.  Why can we not accept this? 

Lastly, we need to pray that all people no matter who they are experience true love.  We have to open our hearts to accept that love is not for one group of society.  We have to ask God to send the love of life to all people.  We need to pray for our brothers and sisters that love be the beginning of their new life.

Christianity and Social Justice

Social Justice goes to the very core of Christianity.  Jesus taught that we as Christians have to be there for those that were on the fringe of society.  Remember that Jesus fed the poor.  Jesus healed the sick.  Jesus reached out to people that were considered unclean.  We as Christians need to work for social justice throughout the world.

Jesus never turned away someone that was considered less than human by the religious leaders of the time.  We need to remember that we cannot judge people and say that they deserve what they are getting.  We have to be there for all people.  We cannot say that this group is unclean and we cannot help them.  We have to follow Jesus’s example and be there for all.  Jesus gave us the perfect example of how we as Christians need to be the leaders of Social Justice.  Jesus taught the disciples and us the importance of being there for others in their times of need. 

Anyone that reads Matthew 25:34-46 cannot deny the importance of being there for people who are in need. Jesus tells us in these verses to reach out to those that others have abandoned.  We must feed the poor, we need to give water to those that are thirsty, and we need to clothe those that do not have clothes.   Jesus further says that we must welcome the stranger and visit those in prison. 

The first three are easy we can understand why we must do them.  We justify that these individuals should be treated equal.  Christians all around the world have opened their churches and homes to those that are hungry providing meals.  We donate clothes to organizations that insure all people have what they need to stay warm.  Christians have also started organizations that provide water to communities that do not have access to clean water.

Yet, we have a much harder time with welcoming the stranger.  We are afraid of the stranger.  We believe that they will bring in diseases in our life.  We are afraid that they will hurt us or others.  We have this fear of the stranger so much that they push people away.  We even worry that they may change the environment of our churches and homes.  Yet, it is often the strangers that have the greatest need.  It is the stranger who comes to our churches and we do not make a part of our inner circle.  How many first time church goers do not go back because of the isolation that they feel?  Are we truly opening our churches and hearts for those that are seeking the saving power of God?

We also have a hard time with the idea of visiting prisoners.  We feel that they are in prison because of the actions that they committed.  We feel that they deserve their punishment and they do not deserve any peace.  We even go as far as believing that they cannot accept Jesus because of the fact that they committed sins that led to their confinement.  We believe that they will never change their ways.  Yet, what we miss is that they need to be witnessed to.  We need to open our lives up to them so that they will find the salvation that they need.   How many people have gone to jail and have never experienced the peace of Christ?  How many of us close our doors to those that are released from prison?  How many people have changed and accepted Christ in their life but we have not trusted them?

The sad part is that some Christians have stood up for Social Justice while others have stood against it.  The one group follows the example of Jesus’s love.  The other group uses the Bible to justify their behavior of not showing Jesus love to all groups.  They assert in their life that there are certain groups that are in so much sin that they should not be considered worthy enough to be Christians.  They justify not supporting them because they pick and choose scriptures that they feel condemn the group that they are not supporting because of their so called “behaviors”.

Think back to the time of slavery in the United States.  There was a large group of Christians that believed it was against the will of God to own slaves.  They believed that no person should own another.  They would eventually be known for the crusade to help free slaves.  The Underground Railroad had many Christians that put their own life on the lines to ensure that slaves could become free.

At the same time there were other Christians who were using scripture of the Bible to justify the slavery of people.  This group was openly attacking other Christians who were helping as they thought “property” escape.  They were picking and choosing scriptures that they felt proved that African Americans were not human. 

It took a war and almost a hundred years to change the minds of the Christians that considered African Americans less than human.  After the freeing of slaves some Christians considered them equals.  In these communities African Americans were able to thrive.  They became leaders in government, business and communities. 

At the same time Christians who had thought slavery was justifiable treated African Americans as less than human.  Many African American’s lives were worse than we they were slaves.  They could not vote.  They only jobs that they could find were to be servants to rich white Americans.  The Jim Crow laws segregated the society in many areas of the country. 

Then in the 1950’s-1960’s things began to change.  Christians that believed that African Americans were equals began fighting for the equal rights in communities that treated them unequally.  Christians joined other religious leaders to march for freedom.  They stood up against those that were considering African Americans less than human.  There were lives lost.  Yet, eventually the Christians who believed in fairness equality won out.  There are still issues yet; there have been so many changes.  You would have never considered fifty years ago having an African American President in the United States.  We have accomplished that and more because of the Religious that took a stand against inequality.

There are so many minorities that need Christians to take a stand.  There are children who go hungry because their parents are making a very small minimum wage.  There are individuals that are living on the street because of the inability to find housing because of their lack of decent income.  The sad part about this is that many receive disability because of both physical and psychological issues.  We have women that make less money and are treated with no respect throughout the world.  They are not giving the chance for education or decent jobs because of their sexual identity.  We have members of the GLBTIQA community that are mistreated and are treated as less than human.

The thing that we have to consider is that these minorities are being mistreated by Christians.  Christians that have gone through the Bible and picked out verses and justify their beliefs.  Because of their actions many of these minorities will never come to know Jesus.  They feel that the Church is against them so why go.

Yet, the whole Church is not against them.  There are as many Christians that believe that these minorities need to be treated equally.  They are standing up for their rights.  They have chosen to let social justice be a part of their life.  Instead of condemning people that are different they rejoice in them.  They understand that we are created equally.  It is humankind that makes people unequal. 

We need to remember that Jesus causes us to Social Justice.  God created us equal and we as Christians know the gift of forgiveness.  We need to stand up for those that have been disenfranchised by society.  We have to remember that we cannot treat anyone unequal.  We cannot as Christians justify as not being equal to us.  We have to remember that Jesus accepted us the way we are.  We are sinners that have been forgiven.  We have to remember that when we start treating people unequally we are going against what Jesus wants from us. 

Look at your life and see if you are truly living a Godly life.  If you are treating anyone unequally then you are betraying what God has called you to do.  We have to remember the example Jesus taught us.  We have to show love to all people.  We have to clothe those that are less fortunate.  We have to feed those that are starving throughout the world.  We have to ensure safe water resources for the world.  We have to welcome the stranger into our church communities.  We have to treat anyone that is different from us with respect.  We as Christians are called to be leaders in social justice.  Are you following the lead of Jesus in your day to day life?

Do Not Be Ashamed of Who God Made You to Be

I hear people all the time saying they wish they could be something different from who they are.  I just watched a Glee episode in which the teens were facing what they didn’t like about themselves.  The one character wanted to have surgery to change her.  The rest of the Choir thought she should not change.  The teacher in the end showed them all that they had things that they wanted to change but they should like themselves the way they were.  They should not be ashamed or upset of their differences.  It was their differences that made them special.

This story really struck a chord with me.  I know so many people that want to change who they are.  They want to be different than they were created.  They want to have surgeries to change their appearance.  They are ashamed of the fact that they look different than other people.

We all have something that we wish we could change.  I wish that I wasn’t sick.  I wish that I could eat anything that I wanted.  I wish I didn’t have to walk with a cane or use a wheelchair to keep from falling.  I wish I could hear without having to turn my head or asking what did you say question.  I wish I could go a day without hurting.  Yet, I have to accept that these are things that I can’t change.

Our differences make us special.  I like so many GLBTIQA wanted to change who I was.  I didn’t want to be a Lesbian.  I went to this amazing counselor who told me something that changed my life.  She said she believed in reincarnation.  She said that she believed that people that were born in an oppressed state were learning something special for their next life.  She even went as far as saying that she admired me because I had to be an extra special person for going through this during this time period. 

I don’t actually believe in reincarnation but her words changed my mind.  I realized that I wasn’t being punished by being a Lesbian.  I learned that I should hold my head high and go through life not ashamed.  It didn’t matter what other people said about me.  It was important the way I thought about myself.

So many people also face the obstacle that I faced when I went to a Baptist college.  I was judged because of my gender identity.  I was a woman and I should be working for my MRS. Degree.  This degree is better known as getting married.  I was expected as a woman at the school to marry one of the men that were going to be a preacher or missionary. 

It was in my second semester when one of the professors comes to me and wanted to talk about his concern.  Being the person that I am I thought that I must have failed the most recent test?  I am a perfectionist when it came to school.  I can remember him telling me that I needed to watch my grades.  I was making grades higher than the men.  He even said how you expect to get married to one of these fine men if you acted like you were smatter than they were.  Now think on this a minute.  I wasn’t supposed to go to school to learn and get the best grades I could get. Instead I was supposed to go to school to attract a young man. 

It made me to do the complete opposite.  I worked on outshine all of the guys.  I worked harder.  I would smile inside every time I would get a better grade.  I knew that I would never get married to any of them.  Yet, what I wanted to prove is that women did not need to act stupid.  I even knew back then that my gender would keep me from doing what I felt called to do.  I knew I was called to be a preacher.  Yet, I knew that this wasn’t going to happen.  I accepted it and went into the next best thing Christian Education.

 I wasn’t ashamed of who I was.  Instead I became more confident because I was doing well.  I had pressure to not shine but I didn’t allow the fact that I was a woman determine who I could be.  I knew that one day that God would open the door for me.  It happened exactly 10 years after I was told to quit outshining the guys.  I didn’t become an ordained clergy.  Instead, I became a lay minister.

We need to accept that God has made us.  I love the saying God doesn’t make no junk.  This statement is so true.  God doesn’t make things that are imperfect.  We are made to be the people that we are.  It doesn’t matter our physical appearance.  It doesn’t matter our health status or limitations.  It doesn’t matter our race, sexuality orientation or gender identity.  The only thing that matters is that we accept that God loves us just the way we are.

Look at your life is there something that you want to change.  Do you want to change it because of the pressure in society to be like everyone else?  Let’s be honest with ourselves there is not a normal group in society.  We are a very diverse.  People should not be ashamed of who they are.  Instead we should be proud of our differences.  We need to embrace our differences and walk without heads held high. 

God made you and God doesn’t make mistakes.  You can be proud of who you are.  There are a few things that you can do to change the way you feel about yourself.  The first thing that you can do is look in the mirror and say I am proud of who I am.  You can thank God for creating you just the way you are.  Accepting that you and God are the only ones that are important when it comes to who you are will change how you feel about yourself. 

Second don’t listen to what people say.  People can be mean.  People have a way of bringing out what they see as your differences so they don’t have to think of theirs.  Don’t fights back instead show them through your actions how proud you are of yourself?  You can change the world and your own perception of yourself by living with pride.

Lastly you can help stop bullying.  Too many people have committed suicide because of what others have said.  Society has pushed people to dislike who they are.  We have to set up laws to protect our children from bullying.  We need to stand up for those that are bullied.  In the last month we have seen where young people who are different have taken their own lives in their hands.  They have taken all that they can and ended their pain by committing suicide. 

Imagine the difference we could make by helping others be proud of whom God made them to be.  If you know someone that is thinking about it help them get help.  Talk to the about calling the suicide helpline.  Talk to them about going to a counselor.  You need to remember you can help them overcome their shame of being different by telling them how much you can for them.  Let them know that their difference isn’t a bad thing.  You can even share your differences and that can help them more than you think.

We need to remember that we do not have to believe what other people say.  Our life is worth living.  If you feel depressed and are thinking about ending your life call the suicide hotline in your area.  You are just who God created don’t let others steal your joy.  Live with your head high and know that people who are bullies have something that they don’t like about themselves and they are reflecting their feelings about themselves on you. 

Do not fall in the path of bullies and judge others for who they are.  You know that there are things that you would like to change about yourself.  Therefore, do not contribute to the world of bullies.  Instead, focus on showing people love.  Show people that they can be proud of themselves.  You can have an influence of others.  Doesn’t it feel better to help people love themselves?  Remember when you are judgmental of others you are bringing them down.  You are becoming the bully that you do not want to be.

Remember that God created each and every one of us in God’s perfect image.  Therefore, God didn’t make you and cheat you because of your difference.  Instead, blessed you with the gift of life and created you to be the person you are.  Don’t let other people steal your joy.  Don’t fall into the path of thinking that you need to change so that you can be like others.  Realize that everyone has something that they want to change about their life.  Accept that you can make a difference by standing up against bullying.  God didn’t make junk.  You are exactly who God made you to be.  Be proud about that.

A Gay Christian's Stance On Indiana's Newly Signed Law

The last week has been more than interesting for someone that lives just across the river from Indiana.  It is also been very upsetting for me as a Gay person knowing that people do not care if they discriminate against me.  Yet, that isn’t the thing that has made this very hard to talk about.  The most disturbing thing is the Christian stance on this law.  Especially since I am not only Gay, I am Christian that happens to be gay.

It is very disappointing to hear that Christians think it is okay to discriminate against anyone.  Christ was about love not hate.  As Christians we do not have the authority to judge our fellow human.  Yet, it seems that certain Christians have forgotten this. 

The thing that has upset me is that people are now thinking that this is how Christians act.  I have had a hard time dealing personally with the feelings that people have on individuals who are talking about this who are Christians.  There are many that believe God Loves All People.  There are many Christians that believe that God does not judge people for the way they look or the way they love.  This is not only true of Gay Christians but many throughout the world.

God sees our souls.  God doesn’t look at the person that was created in God’s perfect image and say this is not what I created.  All people throughout the world no matter what they look like, no matter what sex they are, no matter what abilities they have, no matter their sexual orientation, no matter their gender identity God created us.  Imagine how things would be if we all looked, acted and lived the same way.  Wouldn’t this be a very boring and difficult place to live?  We would not know who we loved; who we called friends in fact we wouldn’t do anything different so we would be like robots.  God did not create a world of robots.  God created a world of diversity.

The thing that bothers me the most is that people are now standing up and speaking for all Christians.  The hateful words coming out of their mouths are supposed to be the truth that all Christians believe.  Yet, just look at how diverse Christianity is.  How could a religion with so many divisions be able to stand united in one voice?  I know that I do not stand alone when I say that the people who wanted this law were not living in a spirit of Christ’s love.

The Savior I serve did not hang out with the top citizens.  God was in those places that people would consider unclean.  He ate with an entire range of people.  He healed people who were excluded from society.  Even his disciples were a rough and tumble group of men and women.  They were not scholars instead they were regular men and women who felt the calling of God on their heart.

I believe that God calls us all to treat others with total love and respect.  We have to live our life following the example Jesus made.  Anyone that believes that they can discriminate is not living the life that Jesus modeled.  Jesus wants us to be open to people that are different from ourselves.  In fact, there is no one that is exactly like us.  So who then are we to discriminate against? 

The problem with this law doesn’t just stop with the ramifications for gay and lesbians it goes much further.  It makes it that anyone who is different from you can be discriminated against based on your religious beliefs.   This goes against the very thing that happened with the civil rights movement of the sixties.  We said then you cannot discriminate against people because of their differences.  Yet, this law opened the door for you to discriminate against anyone and then claim it was your religious right.  It has torn a wound in the civil rights that so many fought and died for.

I found it interesting today that the Governor held a press conference demanding the legislators to present a new law to him to correct the loopholes in this one.  So basically write a law that says a person can’t be discriminated against.  Yet, at the same time says business owners have a right not to do services that are against their religious beliefs.

Therefor I can’t openly discriminate but if you want me to do something that I think is against my beliefs I can tell you I won’t do it and I will not face any legal charges.  Therefor I can’t say I will not serve you because you look or believe differently from me.  But I can say that what you want me to do is against my religious beliefs.

Confusing right.  Here is a good example that might help explain what Gov. Pence is wanting from the legislation. 

Two men come into a bakery to order a cake.  The shop owner can’t tell them to get out because they are a gay couple.  The men then say that they need the cake for their wedding.  At this point the owner says I can’t make a cake for you because your marriage is against my religious beliefs.   I believe that I cannot do anything that shows my support because my religion says that two men can’t be married.

 

Now being upset the two men take the shop owner to court because they didn’t get the cake that they wanted to order.  The defense attorney asks them both did the shop owner tell you to leave the shop because of your sexual orientation.  Both men say no, nothing was said that we had to leave because we were gay.  Yet, this isn’t why we are taking the owner to court, we are suing because the owner wouldn’t make the cake we wanted for our marriage.  Did the owner tell you why they wouldn’t make the cake? Yes the owner said that it would be against their religious beliefs to make a cake for our wedding.

So during the closing arguments the defense attorney says.  These men were not discriminated because they were gay.  They both admitted that they were not told to leave the bakery because they were gay. The owner just refused to make a cake that would have shown support for gay marriage which is against their religious beliefs. 

Judge decision, hold onto your hat, then there is nothing done illegally.  Now does it make sense?  The decision is based on the law that says the baker can’t discriminate, ask you to leave because you are gay.  Yet, they can refuse to provide a service that is against their religious views.  Even if that means that they are discriminating against you by not providing the service that you came into the shop to have performed.

The sad thing is that they would not even look at refining the law if people hadn’t responded the way they did.  The elected officials still believe they did the right thing.  When money talk’s people change their minds on what they should and should not do.  You can see the dollar signs in their eyes as you hear people saying we need to fix this.  They weren’t considering the fact that because of other people’s religious or political views they would discriminate against the entire state of Indiana.

I can only imagine the emotional scars that have been inflicted on people that were trying to come out of the closet.  Imagine being a kid knowing you are gay but afraid to tell anyone because they could choose to stand against you legally.  Imagine being a child that isn’t a Christian and hearing people saying that we can legally choose not to serve you because you are not worshiping my way. Imagine being a kid that was different in any way from their peers and the angst that they have that they can be treated differently and it be okay? What have we done to our children in only a weeks’ time? 

It is even more complicated when you think about those kids that have had their bullying affirmed.  They do not have an adult role model to look at and see that it is wrong to hurt others.  They have heard on TV, Radio and seen it on the internet and so many other avenues that discriminating is an okay thing.  They have heard adults talk about the ways they have discriminated against people that were different from them.  They have heard people talk hate using Christianity as the basis.  If you were a kid that picked on other kids would you not feel that it was okay?

Are we not hurting the next generation of adults by a move like this?  We as adults have to accept the abuse that we have done to these our children by bringing something like this to the forefront of the national and international front.  We have to accept that we are all affecting how kids will be when they grow up.  It is hard enough being a kid and facing those years where your body starts to change.  Yet, what have we done?  We have established the principal that it is okay to be mean to people that aren’t like us.  Whoever the we is now has been given the right to say the others are less important than we are.

Christians and other religious leaders have to make a stand against this kind of hate and discrimination.  We have to stand up and say that we do not agree with the way that religion has been used to justify hate in this world.  We have to fight against acts like this.  If we do not I question us thinking we are better than those that are using the name of Religion to discriminate against others? 

We have to tear down the walls that have been built around the world that lead to discrimination and hateful deeds.  People all around the world are being affected by people thinking that they are less human than they are.  This isn’t a new issue.  Yet, it has given us a chance to talk about the action that we must take.  It has given us a chance to see that many people of all different religions and beliefs do not want others to be hurt emotionally, physically and spiritually.

It is time to take action before anyone else can come up with laws that hurt others.  We have shown government that we want all people treated equally.  Who would ever think that a law passed in the little state of Indiana would bring the attention that it has?  I hope that other leaders in the government think about the ramifications that have happened in the last week.  I hope that as we face decisions based on marriage rights, adoption rights and all other types of equality rights that people in government think on this week and make the right decision. 

I believe that people have the right to practice their religious beliefs.  Yet, I also believe that in most religions around the world the practice of discrimination is not a core belief.  The God I serve has given the most precious gift to ensure that all would be able to receive eternal life.  I was angry most of the last week thinking about the statements that people were saying in the name of Christianity.  Yet, now I have come to the conclusion that instead of keeping quiet I had to say something.  We who believe in the Living God have to say enough is enough. 

The decision to stand up against the current issue has nothing to do with me being Gay.  In fact, I fear that the law could affect so many different people that being gay isn’t even the issue at hand.  I have made the decision to stand up because my God has taught me to love everyone.  I am not saying that I am perfect by any means.  We have all done things that we are ashamed of. 

Yet, I am not ashamed to say that I am a Christian that happens to be gay.  I am not ashamed to say that I am a Christian that is against this or any law that can discriminate against others based on religious beliefs.   I am not ashamed to stand up and say that we need to give freedom to people all around the world to be different from what we consider the “norm.”

I might not believe just like you when it comes to your religious beliefs.  I might not like the way you do things.  I might not like the people you choose to love.  In reality, none of this matters.  I cannot, we cannot, discriminate because we don’t like what others are doing.  Instead we need to build bridges that unite people instead of building walls that keep us separate.  We have to do something today as people of faith to tell the world we don’t want laws that hurt others.  As people of faith we have to put aside our differences to see our similarities.

I guess what I am saying is that the government has made a mistake in this decision.  They have made mistakes with other laws that has allowed for discrimination.  Yet, we as people of faith cannot allow government leaders to use our religion to hurt others.  It is actually the worst thing that our government can do to people.  It infers that people of faith agree with discrimination. 

Pray for not only a change of the laws that discriminate.  Pray for a society in which we do not discriminate against others.  Pray for people to change their ways.  Pray for those that have been hurt this week.  Pray for those that have fought for civil rights throughout the world.  

Being a Christian When You Are Struggling in Your Life

The hardest time in our life to be a Christian is when we are facing struggles.  It is very easy to blame God for our struggles.  It is easy to think that the struggles are happening to make us stronger.  It is also easy to say that God is punishing us for not being faithful.

Yet, could it not be that God has nothing to do without struggles.  God loves us and wants us to live a happy life.  God wants us to be free from our burdens.  God doesn’t want us to struggle, yet we are facing struggles a lot of our life.

When you hear God doesn’t want you to struggle what comes to our mind?  If God doesn’t want us to struggle why do we?  God is all powerful why then would God just stop our struggles or even never let them occur in the first place?  How can we stay faithful to God when we are just trying to make it through the day?

Could it not be if we do not struggle we would never build our relationship with God?  We need to think on this a minute.  We all go through different degrees of struggling throughout our life.  How many times have we grown closer to God when we get to the other side?  In most cases, this is exactly what happens to us.  We find that we are closer to God because of being able to make it to the other side.

Things get more complicated when we have chronic illnesses.  We struggle daily with things that slowly are getting worse.  How can we grow closer to God in these moments?  It is easy when you think about it this way.  Even though you are going through chronic illnesses, you can find multitude of blessings.  You can discover that there are good days.  There are days in which you were able to do things that you thought were impossible.  In most situations, God opens a window for us to go through and utilize the skills that we do have. 

You will always have limitations sometimes to the point that we cannot work.  Yet, there are little things we can do that will make our life complete.  You may never know today may be the day that you wake up and for a few minutes forget that you are unable to do what you love to do.  Those moments are blessings from God.

Then there are those moments when we face death of a close friend or family member.  How are we able to stay close to God in those moments?  Are we not quick to blame God for their death?  We question why did God take our friend or family member?  We all know these are things that we have thought when someone died. Yet, let us look at this a different way.  What if God is taken that person home so that they no longer have to struggle?  Could it not be that God is giving the other person a blessing?  When we look at it this we can see that God isn’t an evil, retaliating God.  Instead we can see that God is a loving God that does not want his people to struggle.

We have to remember in all things God is carrying the heaviest part of our burden.  You have to remember that God only gives you what you can handle.  The rest of the struggle God is carrying.  Each one of us can handle different amounts of struggles.  Thank god for carrying the weight.  When the struggle is over thank God for helping you make it through it.  In the end remember that our struggles can turn into something positive in our life if we look for the lesson that we could learn and not repeat the same mistake.

Being A Christian in the LGBTIQA Community

One of the hardest things to be is a Christian that is also part of the LGBTIQA (gay) community.   This has to do with the judgements that come from both groups.  There is this distrust to dislike behavior that is reflected on anyone that claims to be both.  The issue that we have to address is how to break this chain so that the closeted Christians who are gay can come out and be free to be who they truly are.

Let us start at the level of what it is like to be gay and be a Christian.  Many churches throughout the world have decided that being gay is a deadly sin.  To explain this theory you have to understand that majority of religions believe if you know something is sin and continue doing it then you are not forgiven for that sin.  They have chosen a few scriptures and use them to conclude that being gay is a sin. 

In the Gay Christian community we call these verses the clobber verses.  One of the clobber verses used is from the book of Leviticus chapter 18.  Yet, if you look at the entire book of Leviticus you will find that there are many things that we would now consider barbaric.  We would never kill disobedient kids.  We have no problem eating shell fish.  We have no problem where clothes made of mixed material.  Yet, we are willing to pick and choose what verses in Leviticus we want to use.  If it goes against our beliefs then we don’t use them.  Yet, if you want to go against what someone else is doing just pull that verse out and use it. 

It is very hard for someone to be a Gay Christian because it is hard to find a place where you can worship in peace.  You are on the hunt to find someplace that affirms who you are.  It gets to the point that some Gay Christians end up at churches that accept them being gay.  Yet, there are restrictions that they place on their lifestyle.  One of the most used is that a person can be gay yet they must be celibate.  Therefor it is only acceptance in words not in true reality. 

There are churches on the other hand that do accept gays as part of the church community.  Churches like the Metropolitan Community Church and the United Church of Christ that are progressive and affirm that being gay is not a sin.  It is taught in these churches that gay isn’t a choice but the way the person was created.  Since God does not create anything wrong being gay is not wrong. 

Once a person who is Gay and Christian find this place where they can worship they can partially step out of the closet. They are allowed to be gay at church and that is helpful for their spiritual needs.  Yet, they feel as if they cannot go out as a Christian who happens to be Gay.  This means that they feel as if they cannot come out as a Christian in the Gay community.  There are strong reasons for this.  The biggest reason is that they feel as if they have to justify their decision why they are a Christian. 

If you have been at any pride parade you have more than likely experienced the religious fanatics standing on the sidelines shouting that gays are going to Hell.  Yet, if you truly study the Bible you will see that we are not to judge others.  Then wouldn’t this mean that these people would be committing a sin when they are judging others.  What even makes it worse is that they are pushing people that need God away because of their propaganda.

This hateful speak causes a distrust in the gay community of anyone claiming to be gay.  There is a feeling that you must have a hidden agenda.  That you are just saying you are gay and that you really are not.  The problem is that there is so much hate that has been tossed out in the public by people who call themselves “Christians” that is has affected the whole Christian community. 

In fact, for many it is easier to be open in the Christian Community than it is in the gay community.  There are little pockets where you feel safe and can be out in the gay community.  Yet, there are also those times that you have to explain to people how you can be both.   I am one of the lucky ones that found a church community that also gave me a gay community to exist in openly.   Tell everyone that I am a proud Christian that just happens to be gay. 

Because of that type of affirming group I am out to the whole community as a happy and proud Christian that just happens to be Gay.  I do not hide that I am gay at church.  I do not hide I am a Christian in the gay community.  Hopefully if you are reading this you can come to find that you can be both and be happy.  The Christian community needs to be more open and accepting of those that are GLBTIQA.  The GLBTIQA community needs more people to come out of the Christian closet so that they can see there are positive gay Christians. 

If you are searching for a safe place to start this journey I want you to know that you can look up progressive affirming churches throughout the world.  One thing that I would wish for all that read this is that they come to know the loving God that has made us and does not think we are unworthy.  If you are a Christian who happens to be gay do not hide in the closet of shame instead share your story with other GLBTIAQ who are willing to listen.  If you are a Gay Christian be open an honest with other Christians so they can see that we love and worship the same God.

God is there with Open Arms saying Come to Me

Before you start reading this take a Deep Breath.  This may at times become intense.  It may make you doubt how strong your faith is.  It may make you rethink what you are doing today.  Yet, know that God is there with Open Arms saying Come to Me.

If you have never accepted Jesus as your one and only Savior you may be going through life struggling.  Your spirit may be crying out for help.  You may feel defeated and hopeless.  Yet know that God is there with Open Arms saying Come to Me.

If you have accepted Christ in your life you may be struggling.  You may feel that the path that you’re walking is leading to nowhere.  You may feel that you have stumbled.  You may feel that you are letting God down.  Yet know that God is there with Open Arms saying Come to Me. 

Life is full of struggles.  We sometimes feel like our life has been turned upside down.  We are trying to follow God’s path, yet it feels like you are getting nowhere.  You hope beyond hope that you are following God’s plan.  Yet, deep down inside you feel that you are not following the plan God has set for you.  Yet, know that God is there with Open Arms saying Come to Me.

You may feel that your faith is being tempted.  You may feel that the path is rocky.  You take the leap of faith yet as you take that step you lose your nerve.  You worry if you are really doing what God wants.  Yet, know that God is there with Open arms saying Come to Me.

When doors close on us God is there opening a window.  When our path gets blocked God is there leading us down a new path.  When our faith starts failing God is there to pick us up.  When our heart is heavy laden God is there carrying the load.  Know that no whatever is happening God is there with 

Open Arms saying Come to Me.

God gives us all the opportunity to accept the free gift of everlasting life.  It is up to us to say here we are God I accept your gift.  It is up to us to accept the salvation that comes through Christ Jesus.  God does not judge you by who you are.  God is there for everyone with Open Arms saying Come to Me.

We need to accept that when we are truly following God our faith will strengthen.  We when are faced with troubles that we cannot overcome God is there.  When take our eyes off the one True Living God and stumble in the waves of fear and doubt there is hope.  When you accept God in your life you have no reason to ever fear because God is there with Open Arms saying Come to Me.

The question that you need to ask yourself is where God is calling me to go.  Follow God in faith and you will see the entire world change.  You will be able to stand up and face your fears and doubts.  When the waves knock you to your feet God will pick you up.  When your faith waivers God will hold on to you and help you regain your faith.  We are assured of one thing in this world and that is God is always there with Open Arms saying Come to Me.

Walk today in the path that God has for you.  Accept that you may go places that you thought you would never go.  You might find that the place you are right now no longer is where you should be.  You might find that God is guiding you to a new destination one where people need to hear what you need to say.  We need to accept that God may be leading us to a place where people need to see our faith shine through.  God may be guiding you to do something that you thought was impossible.  Yet, you know in your heart as you go where God leads that the Open Arms of God are there and God is saying Come to Me.

Take that challenge do not be afraid.  Walk with hope and faith.  Do not worry about the future.  Allow God to be the guide in your path of life.  Keep your eyes above the waves.  When the waves become turbulent know that God is there helping you make it.  Accept that God is Always there with Open Arms saying Come to Me.

Today can be the day that you ask God into your heart.  God will forgive you for whatever you have done.  God will accept you for who you are.  God will not deny you salvation if you ask God in your heart.  God doesn’t alienate who can and who cannot receive everlasting life.  In all things that God is there with Open Arms saying Come to Me.