What does Marriage have to do with Love?

What does Marriage have to do with Love?  Many people think that marriage is the most important thing that we can do to show that we truly love someone.  It is a public display of devotion and love.  It is that one moment when we share the spotlight with our partner to say we are in this for life. 

The more important question is what is Love?  When you figure out what love is you truly understand the need people feel for marriage.  Love is the strongest emotion and most important emotion you can have.  Love is the blending of two hearts into one.  Love is the moment that you realize that you are not the most important person in your life.  Love is the giving of yourself to someone else because you desire to be with them no matter is going on.

Everyone longs to have someone that will love them.  We long for someone who will laugh with us.  We long for someone that will cry with us.  We long for someone that will dance with us.  We long to have someone that will hold us. 

There are so many that cannot out of fear express their love.  They are afraid that people will judge them or discriminate against them.  They are afraid that they will lose friends.  They are afraid that their family will abandon them.  They live two lives.  They live a life of open love within a closed relationship.  They live a life of loneliness in all other relationships.  Their lives are not complete because they cannot show people how happy and content they are.

People need to see that love is more than the gender of the two in love.  People need to see that love is more than the race of the two in love.  People need to see that love is more than the religion of the two in love.  People need to see that love has no boundaries.  People need to see that love is the deepest commitment that two people share.

We force people to live in a mold that we have created for them.  We do not want people to do things outside our way of thinking.  We do not want people to be different than we are.  We fear that if we acknowledge that people are different we have to face our differences.

Yet, this is what we have to understand.  Everyone is different.  No two people in this world are identical.  Even identical twins that share the same genes are not exactly alike.  One may be outspoken while the other is timid.  One may be a leader while the other one is a follower.  They may live different lives all together.  They are the closest example that we have that no one can be just like us.  If identical twins cannot be the same, how do we expect others to be the same as we are?

Jesus gives us all free unconditional love.  Jesus is there with us as we go through life’s ups and downs.  Even with this in mind, we want that person that can love us unconditionally.  Many are lucky that they have parents, children and friends that love them.  Yet, the love that we desire is that one person that we can share our life with.  They see our life from our perspective because they are there with us as we are going through it.

A true love is one that is not affected by time and space.  True love will last through heartbreak.  True love will last through deep sorrow.  True love is not affected by finances.  True love will last even if one departs the Earth.  True love is the one thing that we will always carry with us.  We will learn that we thought we were in love yet, when you find your true love all the rest seems foolish.  We learn that all our past relationships, whether it is family, friends or partners, were only a tool to prepare us for the Love of our Life. 

Love is the beginning of the sentence in our life.  Love moves us in the direction that connects our past and present with our future.  Love is the noun that describes our life.  Love is the verb that expresses our emotions.  Love is the only word that we need to have a full and satisfying life.

Back to the question at hand, what does marriage have to do with love?  Marriage is the exclamation mark at the end of our sentence.  Marriage shares with the world that we have found the other part of our soul.  Marriage is an outward expression of a deep love that will not be broken by the world’s struggle.

Why do people desire to be married?  The answer is simple they desire to be married to express their dedication to someone for the rest of life.  Marriage is much like baptism.  Baptism is the outer expression of our commitment to Jesus.  It shows the rest of the world that we have made a commitment to one person.  It shows that we are into this relationship for the long haul.  Love began the journey and marriage is the exclamation that shows the world our seriousness and devotion.

Why are we so afraid to let people marry?  Are we afraid that they may change the meaning of marriage for us?  Are we afraid that they are pushing their lifestyle on them?  Are we afraid that they may be mocking our committed relationship?  Why can we not just accept that people who desire to marry only want what we have?

Yesterday was a monumental day in the life of many same sex couples.  The Supreme Court heard the case to allow same sex marriage to become the standard not the exception.  We saw people that years ago would have been against us stand up and say this is the right thing to do.  We moved one step closer to the equality that so many deserve.

Yet, we are not done.  There is so many people throughout this world that face discrimination because who they love.  There are people that go to their death because they would not deny their love.  We will not be finished until all are treated the same throughout the world.

What do us as Christians need to do?  We need to accept that we are the example of a loved people.  Jesus loved us with all of our flaws and imperfections.  Jesus loves us just the way we are.  We as Christians need to give the same respect to all creation.  We need to accept that we have to allow people to freely express their love.  We may not want the same thing in our own life yet, we cannot deny love for others.

We have to pray for the right decision to be made.  It would be the strongest affirmation of love if the entire Supreme Court voted in favor of same sex marriage.  We as Christians have to pray for this outcome.  You do not need to change your life to accept that there are people that love others just like we love our significant other.

We have to pray that others in the world can be treated with same dignity.  We have to pray that governments throughout the world accept that love is not wrong.  We have to pray that no more lives have to be lost because of love.  Jesus died for all.  Why can we not accept this? 

Lastly, we need to pray that all people no matter who they are experience true love.  We have to open our hearts to accept that love is not for one group of society.  We have to ask God to send the love of life to all people.  We need to pray for our brothers and sisters that love be the beginning of their new life.

Christianity and Social Justice

Social Justice goes to the very core of Christianity.  Jesus taught that we as Christians have to be there for those that were on the fringe of society.  Remember that Jesus fed the poor.  Jesus healed the sick.  Jesus reached out to people that were considered unclean.  We as Christians need to work for social justice throughout the world.

Jesus never turned away someone that was considered less than human by the religious leaders of the time.  We need to remember that we cannot judge people and say that they deserve what they are getting.  We have to be there for all people.  We cannot say that this group is unclean and we cannot help them.  We have to follow Jesus’s example and be there for all.  Jesus gave us the perfect example of how we as Christians need to be the leaders of Social Justice.  Jesus taught the disciples and us the importance of being there for others in their times of need. 

Anyone that reads Matthew 25:34-46 cannot deny the importance of being there for people who are in need. Jesus tells us in these verses to reach out to those that others have abandoned.  We must feed the poor, we need to give water to those that are thirsty, and we need to clothe those that do not have clothes.   Jesus further says that we must welcome the stranger and visit those in prison. 

The first three are easy we can understand why we must do them.  We justify that these individuals should be treated equal.  Christians all around the world have opened their churches and homes to those that are hungry providing meals.  We donate clothes to organizations that insure all people have what they need to stay warm.  Christians have also started organizations that provide water to communities that do not have access to clean water.

Yet, we have a much harder time with welcoming the stranger.  We are afraid of the stranger.  We believe that they will bring in diseases in our life.  We are afraid that they will hurt us or others.  We have this fear of the stranger so much that they push people away.  We even worry that they may change the environment of our churches and homes.  Yet, it is often the strangers that have the greatest need.  It is the stranger who comes to our churches and we do not make a part of our inner circle.  How many first time church goers do not go back because of the isolation that they feel?  Are we truly opening our churches and hearts for those that are seeking the saving power of God?

We also have a hard time with the idea of visiting prisoners.  We feel that they are in prison because of the actions that they committed.  We feel that they deserve their punishment and they do not deserve any peace.  We even go as far as believing that they cannot accept Jesus because of the fact that they committed sins that led to their confinement.  We believe that they will never change their ways.  Yet, what we miss is that they need to be witnessed to.  We need to open our lives up to them so that they will find the salvation that they need.   How many people have gone to jail and have never experienced the peace of Christ?  How many of us close our doors to those that are released from prison?  How many people have changed and accepted Christ in their life but we have not trusted them?

The sad part is that some Christians have stood up for Social Justice while others have stood against it.  The one group follows the example of Jesus’s love.  The other group uses the Bible to justify their behavior of not showing Jesus love to all groups.  They assert in their life that there are certain groups that are in so much sin that they should not be considered worthy enough to be Christians.  They justify not supporting them because they pick and choose scriptures that they feel condemn the group that they are not supporting because of their so called “behaviors”.

Think back to the time of slavery in the United States.  There was a large group of Christians that believed it was against the will of God to own slaves.  They believed that no person should own another.  They would eventually be known for the crusade to help free slaves.  The Underground Railroad had many Christians that put their own life on the lines to ensure that slaves could become free.

At the same time there were other Christians who were using scripture of the Bible to justify the slavery of people.  This group was openly attacking other Christians who were helping as they thought “property” escape.  They were picking and choosing scriptures that they felt proved that African Americans were not human. 

It took a war and almost a hundred years to change the minds of the Christians that considered African Americans less than human.  After the freeing of slaves some Christians considered them equals.  In these communities African Americans were able to thrive.  They became leaders in government, business and communities. 

At the same time Christians who had thought slavery was justifiable treated African Americans as less than human.  Many African American’s lives were worse than we they were slaves.  They could not vote.  They only jobs that they could find were to be servants to rich white Americans.  The Jim Crow laws segregated the society in many areas of the country. 

Then in the 1950’s-1960’s things began to change.  Christians that believed that African Americans were equals began fighting for the equal rights in communities that treated them unequally.  Christians joined other religious leaders to march for freedom.  They stood up against those that were considering African Americans less than human.  There were lives lost.  Yet, eventually the Christians who believed in fairness equality won out.  There are still issues yet; there have been so many changes.  You would have never considered fifty years ago having an African American President in the United States.  We have accomplished that and more because of the Religious that took a stand against inequality.

There are so many minorities that need Christians to take a stand.  There are children who go hungry because their parents are making a very small minimum wage.  There are individuals that are living on the street because of the inability to find housing because of their lack of decent income.  The sad part about this is that many receive disability because of both physical and psychological issues.  We have women that make less money and are treated with no respect throughout the world.  They are not giving the chance for education or decent jobs because of their sexual identity.  We have members of the GLBTIQA community that are mistreated and are treated as less than human.

The thing that we have to consider is that these minorities are being mistreated by Christians.  Christians that have gone through the Bible and picked out verses and justify their beliefs.  Because of their actions many of these minorities will never come to know Jesus.  They feel that the Church is against them so why go.

Yet, the whole Church is not against them.  There are as many Christians that believe that these minorities need to be treated equally.  They are standing up for their rights.  They have chosen to let social justice be a part of their life.  Instead of condemning people that are different they rejoice in them.  They understand that we are created equally.  It is humankind that makes people unequal. 

We need to remember that Jesus causes us to Social Justice.  God created us equal and we as Christians know the gift of forgiveness.  We need to stand up for those that have been disenfranchised by society.  We have to remember that we cannot treat anyone unequal.  We cannot as Christians justify as not being equal to us.  We have to remember that Jesus accepted us the way we are.  We are sinners that have been forgiven.  We have to remember that when we start treating people unequally we are going against what Jesus wants from us. 

Look at your life and see if you are truly living a Godly life.  If you are treating anyone unequally then you are betraying what God has called you to do.  We have to remember the example Jesus taught us.  We have to show love to all people.  We have to clothe those that are less fortunate.  We have to feed those that are starving throughout the world.  We have to ensure safe water resources for the world.  We have to welcome the stranger into our church communities.  We have to treat anyone that is different from us with respect.  We as Christians are called to be leaders in social justice.  Are you following the lead of Jesus in your day to day life?

Do Not Be Ashamed of Who God Made You to Be

I hear people all the time saying they wish they could be something different from who they are.  I just watched a Glee episode in which the teens were facing what they didn’t like about themselves.  The one character wanted to have surgery to change her.  The rest of the Choir thought she should not change.  The teacher in the end showed them all that they had things that they wanted to change but they should like themselves the way they were.  They should not be ashamed or upset of their differences.  It was their differences that made them special.

This story really struck a chord with me.  I know so many people that want to change who they are.  They want to be different than they were created.  They want to have surgeries to change their appearance.  They are ashamed of the fact that they look different than other people.

We all have something that we wish we could change.  I wish that I wasn’t sick.  I wish that I could eat anything that I wanted.  I wish I didn’t have to walk with a cane or use a wheelchair to keep from falling.  I wish I could hear without having to turn my head or asking what did you say question.  I wish I could go a day without hurting.  Yet, I have to accept that these are things that I can’t change.

Our differences make us special.  I like so many GLBTIQA wanted to change who I was.  I didn’t want to be a Lesbian.  I went to this amazing counselor who told me something that changed my life.  She said she believed in reincarnation.  She said that she believed that people that were born in an oppressed state were learning something special for their next life.  She even went as far as saying that she admired me because I had to be an extra special person for going through this during this time period. 

I don’t actually believe in reincarnation but her words changed my mind.  I realized that I wasn’t being punished by being a Lesbian.  I learned that I should hold my head high and go through life not ashamed.  It didn’t matter what other people said about me.  It was important the way I thought about myself.

So many people also face the obstacle that I faced when I went to a Baptist college.  I was judged because of my gender identity.  I was a woman and I should be working for my MRS. Degree.  This degree is better known as getting married.  I was expected as a woman at the school to marry one of the men that were going to be a preacher or missionary. 

It was in my second semester when one of the professors comes to me and wanted to talk about his concern.  Being the person that I am I thought that I must have failed the most recent test?  I am a perfectionist when it came to school.  I can remember him telling me that I needed to watch my grades.  I was making grades higher than the men.  He even said how you expect to get married to one of these fine men if you acted like you were smatter than they were.  Now think on this a minute.  I wasn’t supposed to go to school to learn and get the best grades I could get. Instead I was supposed to go to school to attract a young man. 

It made me to do the complete opposite.  I worked on outshine all of the guys.  I worked harder.  I would smile inside every time I would get a better grade.  I knew that I would never get married to any of them.  Yet, what I wanted to prove is that women did not need to act stupid.  I even knew back then that my gender would keep me from doing what I felt called to do.  I knew I was called to be a preacher.  Yet, I knew that this wasn’t going to happen.  I accepted it and went into the next best thing Christian Education.

 I wasn’t ashamed of who I was.  Instead I became more confident because I was doing well.  I had pressure to not shine but I didn’t allow the fact that I was a woman determine who I could be.  I knew that one day that God would open the door for me.  It happened exactly 10 years after I was told to quit outshining the guys.  I didn’t become an ordained clergy.  Instead, I became a lay minister.

We need to accept that God has made us.  I love the saying God doesn’t make no junk.  This statement is so true.  God doesn’t make things that are imperfect.  We are made to be the people that we are.  It doesn’t matter our physical appearance.  It doesn’t matter our health status or limitations.  It doesn’t matter our race, sexuality orientation or gender identity.  The only thing that matters is that we accept that God loves us just the way we are.

Look at your life is there something that you want to change.  Do you want to change it because of the pressure in society to be like everyone else?  Let’s be honest with ourselves there is not a normal group in society.  We are a very diverse.  People should not be ashamed of who they are.  Instead we should be proud of our differences.  We need to embrace our differences and walk without heads held high. 

God made you and God doesn’t make mistakes.  You can be proud of who you are.  There are a few things that you can do to change the way you feel about yourself.  The first thing that you can do is look in the mirror and say I am proud of who I am.  You can thank God for creating you just the way you are.  Accepting that you and God are the only ones that are important when it comes to who you are will change how you feel about yourself. 

Second don’t listen to what people say.  People can be mean.  People have a way of bringing out what they see as your differences so they don’t have to think of theirs.  Don’t fights back instead show them through your actions how proud you are of yourself?  You can change the world and your own perception of yourself by living with pride.

Lastly you can help stop bullying.  Too many people have committed suicide because of what others have said.  Society has pushed people to dislike who they are.  We have to set up laws to protect our children from bullying.  We need to stand up for those that are bullied.  In the last month we have seen where young people who are different have taken their own lives in their hands.  They have taken all that they can and ended their pain by committing suicide. 

Imagine the difference we could make by helping others be proud of whom God made them to be.  If you know someone that is thinking about it help them get help.  Talk to the about calling the suicide helpline.  Talk to them about going to a counselor.  You need to remember you can help them overcome their shame of being different by telling them how much you can for them.  Let them know that their difference isn’t a bad thing.  You can even share your differences and that can help them more than you think.

We need to remember that we do not have to believe what other people say.  Our life is worth living.  If you feel depressed and are thinking about ending your life call the suicide hotline in your area.  You are just who God created don’t let others steal your joy.  Live with your head high and know that people who are bullies have something that they don’t like about themselves and they are reflecting their feelings about themselves on you. 

Do not fall in the path of bullies and judge others for who they are.  You know that there are things that you would like to change about yourself.  Therefore, do not contribute to the world of bullies.  Instead, focus on showing people love.  Show people that they can be proud of themselves.  You can have an influence of others.  Doesn’t it feel better to help people love themselves?  Remember when you are judgmental of others you are bringing them down.  You are becoming the bully that you do not want to be.

Remember that God created each and every one of us in God’s perfect image.  Therefore, God didn’t make you and cheat you because of your difference.  Instead, blessed you with the gift of life and created you to be the person you are.  Don’t let other people steal your joy.  Don’t fall into the path of thinking that you need to change so that you can be like others.  Realize that everyone has something that they want to change about their life.  Accept that you can make a difference by standing up against bullying.  God didn’t make junk.  You are exactly who God made you to be.  Be proud about that.